glutton for punishment

i wish i could say i stick to the never returning to a bad restaurant thing, but seriously? in new york? who has the time.

GEMMA. again. why do i do this to my taste buds/bowels?

off of an 11" x 14" menu, there was literally only one thing i could stomach stomaching.



you know what that is? egg. mayonnaise. white bread (no crusts). kind of hard to fuck that one up, no?

i ate half of it. the other half found it's way all over my face and then i rubbed the rest on my tits while the other al fresco diners watched in horror. or amazement. or probably jealousy that i was such a wild, uninhibited soul while saying to each other, "tee hee, oh my. only in new york city, dear! only in new york! i told you staying on the bowery would be fun! every one is just so free here!"





and to wash it all down, a home made sprite. lemon, lime, soda, and a sugar cube. we invented it. it's pretty.



the sandwich was $7. no idea how much anything else there is.

this is fuk'd

i went to the waverly inn tonight.

soraya looked hot...(i am not really gay, soraya is my partner and best friend. but not a GAY PARTNER. like, a business partner. look, i know how is looks, but you have to trust me.)



i schmoozed with:
demi moore
lucy liu
bahz lurman
puff daddy (p.diddy?)
larry gagosian

and when i say schmoozed, i mean i spoke to them all. maybe they didn't speak back, and the owner emil had to hold me back, but whatev's. were you there? didn't think so biatch.

but the sick thing is, i came home drunk and ordered an entire Joe's Pizza. all i really wanted was a slice, but i couldn't be bothered with walking there (it is one block away).





for $20 (including tip) i got an entire pizza pie. it's not quite the same as eating it on the street with other drunk fucks, but what-ever. i scooped all the sauce off of every piece and put it on the two slices i actually ate. the rest i left for my mice. oh yes, i have mice. once i got over the grossness of it, i realized they are kind of cute and think of them as my pets.



oh, boy. and the guy i met on the way out of the waverly thought i was an actress (actress, not model--ugh) and wanted to talk to me. i love wearing my yankees hat super low and walking out of a celebrity infested restaurant like i own the place. it really throws people off.

on another note, i am looking for a guy whose feet are this big. because size (of your feet) matters.

waverly inn

joe's pizza

aye caramba

yesterday my blackberry wouldn't send my pics...so a day late...


we went to la esquina for tacos. well, i had tacos. it was fucking hot but we sat outside anyway.



these are pretty good. being from texas, i have a very sophisticated palate for mexican food. all my nannies used to cook for me. just kidding. to me, the perfect taco is a corn toritlla, chopped skirt steak marinated in salty salty maggi sauce, chopped cilantro, chopped onions, and lots of lime juice. THAT IS IT. for new york city, this is a pretty good taco. it's got a lot of some kind of gravy, but if you squeeze enough limes on it, you might think you are at a mexican restaurant in new york.



my friend had this sandwich, which was good. chicken, avocado, and chipotle mayo. anything with mayo is good in my book.



we decided we would definately go back because the people watching is so good. cute boys on skateboards, desperate hipsters, wannabe fashionistas. it's all there. this guy was especially funny. he kept going "shhhhh! shhhhhh!" at first i thought i was hearing things, but it's actually this douche. some other funny things that spilled out of his mouth:

"forward! forward! more forward!" (to a truck that he thought could get closer to the crosswalk.
"that dog is wearing a fur coat."
"something, something...eddie marphy [sic]"
"if you want to be a surrogate, the government pays for your prenatal vitamins."

they take amex.

no word from boy.

www.laesquinanyc.com