hi guys. i love you. no really, i do.

just got back from a glass of wine with my friend duh-nise. at the bowery hotel. saw my ex (who owns the fucking place) and tried to sneak around the back way to go potty without him seeing. but then the douche in tight pants and a tie told me the restrooms were the other way. i was like, i know but i'm trying to avoid my ex (who owns the fucking place...your boss). he said the secret way was locked.

so i walked past sean in my fat jeans and uggs and a turtle neck that was a little too short from dry cleaning too many times so my muffin tops were peeking out. greasy hair, no makeup, and unruly eyebrows.

but whatevs. it's not like i care what HE thinks, it's just that as a rule one should always make every guy she's ever dated think they lost the best thing that ever happened to him.

i wonder if there is one guy i dated that even does...oh well.

i looked even worse than this:

i should always look more like this:

no no no wait. this:


Shorts said...

Holy Shit! Good to have you back.
by the way - I lurve muffin tops. A woman who is confident enough to rock the muffin top will definitely show me what she's got.

Anonymous said...

Can we see a picture of your muffin top? And your bottom.

cc said...

missed you (and shorts).

Anonymous said...

I miss tappin' it. Goodness.

brett ashley said...

is that our coral heart?