sinner

i popped out of a jewish womb, which makes me jewish. and that annoys the shit out of my orthodox cousin who had to actually convert to become a VIP member. especially since i eat cheeseburgers, bacon, shrimp, mussels, oysters, have tattoos, take it up the ass, and keep a crucifix next to my bed. i'll always get to be a jew no matter how much i fuck it up.

anywho. unless you live under a rock or in arkansas, you would know that today is that day that we fast. we fast because the pain from the hunger is meant to remind you of the pain of your sins. i totally made that up. i have no idea why we fast.

i don't really do it cause i'm religious (see 1st paragraph), i try to do it cause i am superstitious and fear my other family members who are might die or something if i don't.

i make up my own rules though. like today i am drinking (very milky with lots of sugar) coffee. what. it's still hard, dude. even with the calcium and calories. i almost fell off my chair a few minutes ago.

can't wait to eat pork ribs and a milkshake at sundown. booyah.

before:


after: