tea and sympathy

i'm sorry, but look at this.


it's beautiful. james macevoy could have his erect cock in my face and i'd still rather put these beans in my mouth.

perfect heinz baked beans from a perfect turquoise tin. fuck tiffany's blue box. i want heinz's blue tin.

i'll fart for days without care just knowing that i tasted such canned food goodness.

that said, this place and it's rules is so unbelievable i can't even explain. ok, i'll try. follow me if you can.

candice: table for 3 please
cockney skank: ok got it
...5 minutes later
candice: sorry its 4 now
cockney skank: ok, no problem
...5 minutes later
cockney skank: party of 4?
candice: shoot, he's not here. i guess just 3.
cockney skank: ok, come in
(cockney skank seats us at a 4 top)
candice: oh good, there's a seat in case he comes
cockney skank: oh, then i'll seat you over here, because we can't have any late arrivals.
(cockney skank points to a tiny table with 3 chairs around it. not enough legroom for crickets, let alone 3 grown women)
candice: oh, no. that's too small. we'll sit here at the bigger table
cockney skank: no, we can't have late arrivals so i'll sit the other party of 3 here.
candice: no. if your going to sit 3 here anyway, we'll take it because it's more comfortable.
cockney skank: fine.
(cockney skank proceeds to carry the 4th chair at our table OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT to the sidewalk and removes the place setting to ensure we understand that absolutely no one can join us.)

grrr. but the coffee is good and so is the tea and i personally love the food. farts and all. skanks and all. then i go next door for some wine gums. thats a candy, and it don't get you drunk.

tea and sympathy