and i'm an alcoholic.
not the kind that wakes up in the morning and needs a shot of crystal palace. but the kind that once she starts she can't stop.
it's just, like, you know. pringles. you aren't going to let it sit there half empty. you're gonna fucking finish that canister of shape-pressed potato mush until there's nothing left.
i went to the gym today. i saw my ex. he's cute and all, but i'm over the "lets-cheat-on-the-greatest-girl-that-ever-lived" kind of guy...so... you know...
whatev's. my blog. my story. no sense. my story.
honestly, here is what happens. when i have my friends that party with me (strictly alcohol), i play til it's time for bed and i fall asleep. when my friends go to bed before me, i tend to sit here and ponder. stuff. pondering stuff. i wonder about what i want. and what i wanted, and how it's different. what if i had that house in houston? with my SUV and i'd probably be 8 months pregnant with my 2nd child. instead i am zero months pregnant and i could have had 3 by now.
life is trippy. dude.
honeslty, though. things happen for a reason. i really believe that. there is no way i could have raised any of my three abortions as a good mother. if i don't have kids, at least i am working towards being a really really good godmother and aunt.
such is life. don'tmistake it for a defeatist attitude....by no means. i turned 30 a while ago and just simply let go of the desperate attitude.
all is good
my blog, my train of though. you fuckwads.