breaking in

(warning:this has nothing to do with lunch)

how to break into your own apartment.

find a lonely construction worker on your block.

hike up your shorts and look desperate and dumb when you tell him you locked yourself out of your apartment cause you are so silly and do silly things like that all the time and might be silly enough to slip and land on his cock if he just did you this one favor.

be sure to let him know that you are staring attentively at his tight buttocks while he does his job.

tell him not to touch your poodle cause she bites. then hope he ignores all the dirty panties left scattered around like land mines. cause you are silly. and lazy. and can't afford a maid to do it for you.



then again. he probably loves that shit, and sniffed each pair on his way to the front door.

ewww.