foreign land and bike line violators

hi my babies. i am leaving for a long time. 12 days. just about 10 days longer than i'd like to leave my doggie and my job and my friends. just about negative 15 days longer than i'd like to have to eat at another restaurant in soho. i am going to do some fun international posts. you'll feel cultured.

but lets be real. you guys don't really care about my food. or where to eat. wait, maybe you do.

but i personally like to get personal. like, tell stories. like, how the other day i had to maneuver (woah, i spelled that right without spell check) around a parked TRAFFIC COP van in the fucking bike lane. what the fuck? lead by example, much? he should have been ashamed because it was one of those new bike lanes painted green; as in, "hello you fucker, the measly 2 foot wide lane is painted green so that people like you blocking us should feel humiliated for doing so."

kinda a situation like this, from an image i found on google. clearly a rampant problem:


so as i pass the rolled down passenger window, i flick him off so hard that my sinewy scrawny arm muscles gain perfect definition and i yell "you're in the fucking bike lane, you ass hole!!!"

then i peddle as fast as my little legs can carry me on my DK fury, riding it like a hood rat--frame moving side to side and side to side to help me gain speed. prada bag perched firmly on my shoulder.

that fucker couldn't catch me though. he hit a red light while i sailed through...

bikes are the ONLY way to get around town.

(mine, except i have custom orange handle bars and no logo stickers. just graffiti.)