fuck you all

i need to vent-ilate. fuck you to the following people:

1) to the chinese guys riding their bikes on the sidewalk--sideWALK you fuck--even though there are no cars on the street, there is a bike lane, and OH JEEZ IT"S FUCKING ILLEGAL. and what, am i supposed to make room for you as you pass? go fuck yourself.

2) to the extra holiday employees at mid range fashion stores like club monaco, j.crew, or intermix. why do three of you gather together and scream and laugh like there are no customers in the store? "oooh, girl you KNOW she gon make you work late.." "nah, bitch i be like fuck that! i already stocked all them new spring collections" heelllo! do you have this in a small? what the fuck are they paying you for? this isn't a fucking cafeteria to gab in.

3) to the polish guy at CHO'S DELI ON CARMINE AND BEDFORD. yes you, with your fat shiny shaved head. i have known you for 2 years. tonight i stand there with a pack of sour patch kids for at least an entire minute while you recant to your buddy a story of someone hitting your car which inludes more explitives than i knew existed and more fucks per second than i thought possible. i know it's new york but i am still a lady and still a patron of your store. and when i fucking pull your chain for having a dirty mouth IN JEST, the last thing i need is for you to shoot me a look of death telling me to mind my own business, and who asked me. (i told him to chill the fuck out and recognize sarcasm, and i thought we were friends...but i don't think he knew what sarcasm meant. therefor this friendship is over. dick. i wasted all those smiles and pleases and thank you's. ugh, i knew i shouldn't be nice.)

that's all. this may have broken my seal...more posts to come.


JackRabbit said...

You didn't buy those SourPatch Kids, did you? I hope not.

Shorts said...

Are you also friends with those old Italian men who sit outside the deli? They are creepy with a lowercase c.