why a nail salon back rub is like bad sex

you haven't had it in a while, so you're totally ready to enjoy it
starts out ok, seems alright.
some rubbing, squeezing
now you're ready to have the sweet spots worked
ugh, they almost had it
getting closer, ugh they missed it!
they're like right there and they keep passing it.
now you're getting frustrated.
it's the same shit over and over again.
the excitement is gone and you just want it to end.
you think about stopping it and walking away
but you feel bad, and don't want to hurt their feelings, so you wait it out and let them finish.
but now they're sensing your losing interest and they want to try harder
so they slap you, pull your hair, pinch you, and push real hard all over the place.
none of this feels good.
in fact, you even turn your head and grimace in pain.
then it ends.
and you walk away unsatisfied. a little sore. and smelling like bad lotion.