barney's

went to lunch with our buyer from barney's. i will not reveal her name lest you little wannabe fashion cunts try to call her. NO! she is ours.



madam "s" is gorgeous, gorgeous. i just happen to have this headshot of her on my desktop. she has the best syle. shit, i would too if i got an employees discount at bar-nay-nay.

we met at fred's on the ninth floor. we had a reservation. i was like, what the fuck? i'm with "s" and we still need a reservation? good thing too, cause by the time we left, the front was jam packed with women and strollers and fags...and strollers.

there is nothing on the menu under $10. but check out this geniusness. who would pay $10 for soup? well, what bitch WOULDN'T if they saw this descrition:



"cure colds and stay thin" i'm speechless.

this is me with my "hello dahling i am eating at freds" face. ugh. i hope hot boys aren't looking at this.



i got a turkey club $19. pulled out most of the turkey. so i guess it was really a BLT.



"s" got linguini with tomato sauce. that was really good. she got mad when i reached in for a second bite.



soraya got the anorexic special, chicken soup. but pulled a fast one on them and cancelled the order. that is how you stay even thinner.

i didn't have enought money to pay for the check, so i bartered with all the junk in my purse.



"s" seemed really happy. i thought it was a funny joke but when i started to grab my stuff back she was like "uh, uh!"--holy cow. she really wanted it! then i had to barter to get back the stuff i was bartering with! i made it away with my candy license plate and my strawberry plastic headband. the rest was lost in the game. that plastic diner pen is really good, though. enjoy that! she's the best. i love that she took that half seriously. cause life is serious sometimes.