rice is nice

a photographer, a lawyer, a slut, and a slut walk into a restaurant. i don't take pictures and i have no regard for the law. which leaves only two choices... hmmm.

no one cares.

today we had a big photoshoot because we are famous uber models. i don't joke.

after, we went to rice. their new digs are hot. so cute with the open windows and trees in the back.

i don't recommend the ginger iced tea. what the fuck is it with new york and their fucking left wing iced teas? lipton. that's it. lipton tea bag in hot water. then pour it over ice. for fucks sake, it's not gourmet. (and i think it should be law that all iced teas have free refills)

here's katy modeling the latest fried rice chip. we thought it was pork rinds for the longest time. who knew?



katy is a criminal defense lawyer. that's right. so, like, if you get mad at your ex for cheating on you and you cut his penis in half and tie it in a knot like a pretzel, she will "advise" you to admit that you just "slipped" while carrying a razor sharp pelting knife and in an attempt to ease your fall you grabbed on the first thing you could and got really twisted about as you fell down and, gosh...your honor, it was horrible, just horrible. things like that just can't be made up, sir. she is a mighty fine lawyer.

(by the way. every single person i have dated has cheated on me. well, except burt, but his name was burt...nuf said.)

here is my pho. took the beef out. it was ehh. but it's hard to compete against my first love, nha trang. lots of lime helped.



here are the jerked chicken wings. those are great.



i also recommend the lentil stew with brown rice.

cokes come in glass bottles.

CASH ONLY. someone tell the IRS, cause you KNOW shit is going down. is rice street language for a drug? i wouldn't know. i am too old and out of the loop. plus i stick to prescription pills to get stoned. ever take ambien and stay awake. it is quite possibly the best fun.

omg. for dessert i picked up this fake looking cake at steve's bodega on bowery. the sticker said it is from FN bakery in the bronx. maybe jlo ate there.



it is fucking UNBELIEVABLE! it's perfect yellow cake and fluffy marshmallow icing that looks like shaving cream and guava jam between the two layers. i mean i can't believe how good it is. i am totally getting them to make my birthday cake.



this is how uber models eat icing.