lo siento

i feel really bad about neglecting all my fans (3, not including my mother). but turning thirty is rough. well, not really, but it is an amazing excuse to neglect everything in your life for a week or two.

i did eat lunch today, but blogging about mcdonald's is so boorring.

but dinner was fun. lots of shit to talk about diner in brooklyn. brooklyn--i just, i mean, i get it? maybe? maybe it's cause i am not from here. so to me, moving to new york meant manhattan. like in the woody allen movies. anywho.

after driving, yes driving to brooklyn, my friend roi and i went to a place called diner. it is right next to another place whose name i can't remember (cause it sucked) that i went to on a first date. (hey dude, i know you read this. long time! i hope your life is good. i heard your new girlfriend is hot).

as soon as i walk in i ask the guy if this and the neighboring place share a kitchen. he said no and i go, "oh phew! cause i ate next door once and the food totally sucked!"

then he goes, "well, it's the same chef."

great. what's the bet he shit in my food? and then sprinkled salt and basil on it so i wouldn't know?

with an open mind i sat down. the menu has 6--that's SIX--things on it. then this hipster waitress with a completely unsexy short haircut and mismatched ironic earrings squats down at the table and starts rattling off the specials while she writes down keywords like "arugula" and "pork" and "bass" on the paper table cloth. OH MY GOD THAT IS SO ANNOYING. is that some sort of trick to make me think this place is cool? like more of a trick than the fact that it is in brooklyn and you don't wash your hair?



they never poured our water.



i had risoto. gross. roi had braised pork, horrible fatty and salty and gross.



we were both so hungry after our gross food that we ordered a burger. no joke.



the fries were good. i paid the bill and we left. this is what we saw. i mean, words cannot describe... $100 says that is "art."



i had to shower with really really hot water to get that williamsburg grime off of me. take me back to manhattan!!