issues with shorts

shorts and i are already in a fight.

he asked me to lunch, and this is what i wrote back:


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From: Hungry Girl
To: David xxxxxxx
Date: Oct 22, 2007 10:33 PM

why does a picture of a cat pop up on your name? men are NOT supposed
to have cats. that is just weird.

here is the problem. you are going to fall in love with me when you
meet me. even if you are a fag, you will fall in love with me. i can
spit in your food and you will still love me.

i will probably act all cute and flirty, because my father told me the
only way to get guys to like you was to make them want you. sexually.
yes, my father told me this. this is the same man who smacked me on
my back and said, "congratulations! it's about time!" when i told him
i lost my virginity.

but i don't like you will never like you because i am in love with
someone, even if he doesn't love me back.

so whatever your intentions are, just know that.

um, and if it's just to innocently get lunch then disregard all prior converse.

thanks
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here was his response:

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rom: David xxxxxxxx
To: Hungry Girl
Date: Oct 23, 2007 9:01 AM
Subject: Re:

Im married. And youre cocky.
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gasp!!! i am mortified! now he wont take my emails or calls or texts, and he ignores me when i throw pebbles at his window. what do i do? i must have lunch with shorts. i am making it my mission to have lunch with shorts.