I'm back but recently discovered I have an intolerance to gluten, which should make things interesting.

Posting soon.

i'm a lame person

i have a twitter account

@soholunchblog

the reason is so i can quickly bitch about things on the go. cause there are SO many times i want to do it.

confused

i've confused myself about this blog. it was about bitching about places to eat. then bitching about my life. then just a mess of pics. but fuck anyone who reads it because for 3+years it's a diary of my life. and one day when i wonder how the fuck i wasted all my good years i can look back and remind myself it was because i drowned myself in a sea of booze, misery, and ex-boyfriends (wait. take away the plural. there really isn't any plural.)

fml

jackson diner

it's in jackson heights and it's not a diner. cause it's in little india, which i'm sure isn't the official name but whatever. it's like india but really little so there.

soraya is half indian via guyana which still means that her mom cooks curry and owns a sari. (spelling?)

we got to JH and were starving so we ate at jackson diner. had the $9.95 buffet. it was pretty good. but then again how can anything spicy, salty, and stinky NOT be good?





i ordered fresh iced tea. ya, fresh from a canister of powdered ice tea mix. it was definitely someplace to try.it's nice to get out of manhattan (and brooklyn).

it was good. the rest of the day was super fun. shopping for outfits for soraya's indian themed 30th bday party. which was the last time i've had alcohol. i;m serious. at the 2 week mark.








oh no wait. scratch that. it was after my friends wedding in mexico in a town that is apparently the birth place of micheladas that marked the end.





AAAAAND...scene.

found on craigslist

i was looking for a concho belt on houston's craiglist. i found some jewelry for trade. trade for a gun.

I have a Massive amount of Authentic, Vintage, Native American (mostly Navajo,but some zuni pieces) Sterling Silver and Turquoise, Mother of Pearl, Red Coral, Onyx, and a mixture of two or more of these materials for trade. Some of the pieces are "signed" by the artisian, some are not. I have been a jewelry and antique dealer for years, and can gaurantee the authenticity of these pieces, any doubt, please see our feedback on eBay as powersellers under the seller name motherscollectables... we have sold many, many items.
ANYWAY, what I am looking for is a NICE .45 or Comparable. What you will recieve is an assortment and massive amout LBS and LBS of very beautiful, sale-able or wearable (no junk - nothing broke) Vintage Native American Jewelry.
Interested, contact me by e-mail at (insert-a-scary-aggressive-war-vet-handle)@yahoo.com or by cell phone at 713-xxx-xxxx or 832-xxx-xxxx.... ask for Jeff

Location: NW Houston
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

AWESOME.

i'm pretty sure that's illegal.

DiCosmo inspired me

Well, actually, it was John

i wish you could see john's eyes in this picture. crystal blue like the sky was that day. the first real rockaway beach day for me this summer.

john was discovered in elizabeth, NJ by david selig. the dude who did rice in NYC and, of course, the infamous rockaway taco in queens.

i grilled john about his ices. this is what he gave up. he makes them fresh in the morning using fresh fruit and fruit juices. i believe him. the small pink grapefruit italian ice i got (the first of 3 i ate) was only a buck twenty five and SO UNBELIEVABLY GOOD YOU COULD PISS YOURSELF. i had 2 pink grapfruit and 1 raspberry. in fact, sorry david and andrew hotty pantz, i didn't even order any tacos cause the ice was so good.

of course his hotness oozing out of his pores and cool kicks and beastie boys playing on his boom box only enhanced the whole fucking delicious experience. john. i love you.

dicosmos website

oh, but all you chubby ho's in line at the taco stand who think you're hot 'cause your approaching 40 but still have the strength to carry an 8+' board into the frigid water with a full wetsuit and booties on, don't front. being a bitch isn't attractive. plus, you have no idea if i can hang ten or not...so BACK OFF. (i'm still hotter than you--just look at me suck on that spoon).

if you're ever in kemah...

there's a local sub shop called neptune. i wish i had taken pictures, but their subs are so fucking good. i highly recommend their tuna (they hardly us any mayo) with cheese and jalepenos. get a large iced tea or dr. pepper in their styrophome cups.




check out their website

bored.

someone ask me a question. it'll be like truth or dare. except you can't really dare me. just ask me and i have to answer.

Mark said...
if you were a fruit or vegetable, which one would you be and why?

a fruit. i mean, if i wanted someone to say, candice is a fruit vs. candice is a v...? come on. god forbid.

----------

Anonymous said...
How many guys have you slept with?
Have you ever been with a girl?

dare.

-----------
Anonymous said...
do you keep the change or give it back?

depends on how nice the cashier is. but always give back pennies.

-----------

Anonymous said...
When you order a steak, which cut do you prefer and at what temperature?

t-bone. medium. like to chew the fat.
-------------

Okay, HungryGirl...

1. Describe your favorite breakfest.
2. What are you reading now (or what have you read most recently)?
3. Have you ever left the apartment/house in your pajamas?

Sincerely,
A Faithful Reader.

2 eggs over easy, whole wheat toast with butter, fried tomatoes really mushy. salt and pepper. coffee with half and half and sugar.
"the likeness" a murder mystery
i've left the apartment in just my north face once. and some clogs. it was snowing.
------------

Anonymous said...
Fake, fraud or genuine?

if you're referring to me, i would say genuine with a little sugar on top depending on the situation.

my new yogurt spot

let's be honest, frozen yogurt isn't good for you. so at least it should be fun and taste good.

yougurtland is my new place. it's on bleecker btwn 6th and 7th ave. i usually scoff at the pimply midwestern teenage tourists in their uggs and miniskirts downing this shit. but today i tried it.

and i went back again after dinner.

probably the best fit for a control freak, this place. you pour your own flavor, on your own, however much you like. then you put your own toppings on, however much you like. no more looking at the server's spoon full of sprinkles willing her to pour the rest of the scoop out--even though she never does. she just puts those last 15 sprinkles back in the bucket. for what? i don't know.

listen, they didn't decorate the place from the design within reach catalogue. but still.

pretty good for cheapskates, too. i got everything i wanted (and nothing more) for $1.96. go.



strawberry yogurt with fresh bananas and fruity pebbles.

truce

lunch soon, my dear.

nevermind

its back. cause we all need to be vulnerable to remind us we are alive.

I had to remove my video bc my mother would call me a pathetic drunk loser. And as funny as I think I am, it wears on me. Hearing that.

fried hamburger

in memphis, besides not eating one piece of fresh fruit or vegetabe for 4 days, i decided it'd be a good idea to eat a fried hamburger. fried, you say? yup. a dyers famous fried hamburger.

basically the same vat of grease has been frying patties for nearly 100 years. no joke. they make a patty and drop it in a deep fryer. some people, people who like to piss out their ass for a few more days than i did, dip the buns in the grease too.

the waitress, who wore an ipod (didn't take her ear buds out) and walked on her tippy toes, told me to go for the double double. that's doube meat and doube cheese. cause the patties are thin. so i did that. and had jaapenos, too. but when she asked if i wanted a combo with fries, i was like--what the hell do i look like? some sort of pig? she gave them to me anyway "on the house." gee thanks. this house had floors so caked in grease that your feet slid when you walked.

that burger was INSANE. so good. but not as insane as the sick i felt for the next 6-8 hours. i mean, al my veins hurt. i don't think it was worth it. just the feeling negated all the deliciousness.



oh, and by the way, i wanted to make it a chili burger...but they were out of chili. blessing? who knows.

dyer's

i finally finished diarreah on thursday. at least my tummy is completely flat now. empty and flat.

i mean, what?

here is me singing to whitney houston's "all at once" but the audio didn't work. i think. i'm sure.

whatever. if anything it can remind you how silly i am. cause i am.

caliente, you fuck

so, i went for happy hours (-sssss).

rob's mad cause i'm i bitch when i think guys like me. but they should know that's my M.O. to suss out the weaklings.

got peckish. came home alone (cause rob's mad. but prolly better cause my house is a stye) and as i passed the big margarita glass in the sky--otherwise known as caliente cab company--i realized all i wanted was salty cheesy crispy cheesy pickled jalapeno goodness. so i stopped. i ordered. i went to the bathroom.

they have black toilets. which is really bad for puke. which the girl in front of me did. in the toilet i wanted to pee in. i did NOT pee. but i took a pic.



i came out looking at my camera on my phone and the jersey girl who walked in saw me looking at the pics. i said, "oh, sorry. i was just trying to take a cute pic for my boyfriend. but i can't get it right." she said she'd help and no, not to worry, she does it all the time and not to be shy... breath in...suck in...arch back...lift up the shirt. oh, well, it's cute but you're laughing, do you want to try again? HHAHAHAHAH!





done
and
done

quickie

listen, blogging is supposed to be fun.

i don't blog when i feel like it's work to do so.

i had a book agent tell me she was certain she could find me a deal. i said GREAT!

she said, write a couple pages and i'll shop it around.

that's work. no. not fun.

that's all!!

hi

i just wrote a really long post about artists and how i hate them all because every single one i've had a relationship with on any level--friends, lovers, etc...- is a liar. legitimate liar. like, watch me...cause right now....here it comes...LIE. "i don't know whose underwear those are" "my girlfriend has no idea i say that about her, so if you ever meet her..." "my dick is 8" long" "TRUST ME."

just a caveat.

better off with bankers. at least they tell you the truth when they come home from a strip club smelling like strawberries and cream.

and that was the edited down post.

la la la laaaahhh!

finally!

i have a new crush. i mean, really. really?

yes. i do.

you'll see.

i re-pierced my 2nd and 3rd hole on my left ear. i had pierced them before in college with my friend courtney. both at the same time at claire's boutique in austin. needless to say i took the earrings out after a few weeks cause i hated them.

but rather than destruct any more real estate on my body, i decided to just repierce them. now i know what you skanky bitches are saying. 'just stick the earring in cause the holes don't close'. WRONG. they were closed shut. and the last one was through cartilage. yep right through it. so hurt just as bad as the fucking ring at the top of the ear.

anyscrew, i did this on tuesday and today i tried to change out the jewelry cause i didn't like the order of my studs. ignoring the fact that i had been bleeding from the trauma for two days. it just didn't stop bleeding. well, now i cant get them back in and i had to put old big diamonds in there cause those were the only stud earrings i had available with long posts. i am a retard.

waaaahhh! i crave!

whataburger



"More than half a century later, with Harmon’s son, Tom, at the company helm, Whataburger still remains family-owned and operated. Employees at Whataburger are even referred to as Family Members and it is the privilege and promise of each and every one to uphold the tradition that Harmon began. So now with more than 700 Whataburger restaurants across ten states, road-trippers and hometown folks alike continue gathering under the big orange and white roofs for the fresh made to order burgers and friendly service."

" No problem, your Whataburger will be made just like you like it 24 hours a day 7 days a week."

chinese food

i'll find out the name of this place, but it's somewhere in midtown. when you go to a chinese restaurant, and one line (buffet) is filled with fat americans, and the other line is filled with thin chinese people...you see where i'm going with this.

the buffet had all your favorites, fried meat with brown sauce. all sorts of fried meat. fried rice. egg rolls. etc...

the special order line...it was a little hectic and, had i not been totally intimidated, i would have taken a little time to see what the chinese were ordering. instead i panicked and ordered steamed veggie dumplings and hot and sour soup.





both sucked. but i did end up noticing that the popular dish with those in the know is some noodle soup.

too bad. i'll never go back.

on another note. i haven't been laid since january.