le bruise game

sometimes you just want to play that game where you and your friend punch each other in the arm over and over again to see who can develop the biggest bruise.

well, i played this with my friend and his girlfriend. after a couple rounds of pimm's. but she drank scotch. so i think i wanted to prove that i am tougher, even though she drinks a boy drink.

the first morning i couldn't move my arm and it was totally swollen, but no color.



5 days later, still barely blue. or green. barely evidence that i endured a serious beating.



did i mention that this contest was on valentine's day eve? prolly why i wanted a beating. wanted to have physical pain distract me from the emotional pain. ugh.

minca

minca is a ramen place on 5th and whatever the avenue is that turns into clinton street after houston.

i had the spicy veggie ramen. adan had the pork ramen. both were really good. a little more complex and homey broth than ipudo, the other ramen place on university and, like 8th or 9th street.

here are some pics. oh, cash only and little and cokes come in bottles. it's good, i would go again, for sure.

soho massage

maria told me about this place and i figured if she went there then i could.

it's called sunshine bodyworks. it smells like feet but it's only $58 for someone to rub you for an hour. here are some pics:

a price list


cleanish table


this paper towel can protect your face for a massage or your ass on an airplane toilet


i'm not quite sure what these two lubricants were for. i'm pretty sure they just used oil on me.



they take cc's. tip in cash, though. they are super nice. definitely not licensed massage therapists, but you know. plus you can get a punch card for a free massage after 10 visits. like a game! and you're for sure a winner!

it's on houston and macdougal-ish. north side of h.

funny

from a post on facebook. my god. for reelz.



confirm or ignore.

cibao, papi

clinton and rivington.

been going to this place for a couple years. dominican. their decor was way more awesome before they added an online jukebox and home-depot-venetian-glass pendant lights. still, though, the table cloths are plastic, the waitresses don't speak english, and they still have to buzz you into the toilet.

denise and i went. we got a coors light (that was me), arroz con pollo, frijoles, tostones, and pepsi. it came to $17. the chicken in the rice is still on the bone and so tender and good. pieces of cilantro in every bite.



this place is a sure thing.

i got more attention wearing this shirt than if i didn't wear pants.

SUCK IT

to all my dear, dear ex boyfriends and future ex boyfriends: you ass holes.

again? already?

i have this uncanny ability to break up with boys right before valentine's day. once, ONCE in my life have i had an actual real valentine. and, actually, it wasn't that great. but it's way fucking better than watching zales and hallmark commercials stoned in bed wondering how...how can this happen AGAIN?

it's only 1:25pm. T-minus 10 hours and 30 seconds to vday. and i'm already sick to my stomach. my eyes burn from fighting back tears. i can't decide what kind of drunk i want to be for the next 36 hours. whisky and fight? gin and fight? tequila and laugh and fight? red wine and cry and puke? white wine and laugh and puke? oh, the glorious choices!

this one drunken night my friend an i tried to convince a douche in steve madden shoes that i was a porn star. he asked me if i do DVDA. i was like, "i don't have dvd's out yet. i'm just online." HAHAHA! he caught on to me after that.

i found my id.

neil, can house of kolor that's not racist be used on furniture? if so, shoot me an email at soholunch@gmail.com

thankkks.

hilarious

my friend sent me this link

THIS IS WHY YOU'RE FAT DOT COM

rusty knot

this place could have gone wrong in SO many ways. her are the near misses.

bad lighting was missed by a hair. one iota darker would be gay.
forceful dive bar ambience just missed by the attractive toilets and attention to detail in decor.
badly ironic canned beer selection missed because (thank god) no pabst. blue ribbon.
tattooed hipster staff missed by their surprising, and this may be stretching it, friendliness.
fair ground type menu missed by having edible choices that won't produce coronary issues.

some sure misses are the vintage holiday decorations (predictable), and well, that's all i can think of right now.

it's owned by the dude who owns freemans and he is SO SO NICE. seriously. i was scared of him the first time i was introduced. felt like he was eyeing my style and i instantly felt like i coulda been dressed head to toe in tory burch considering my lack of style. i wasn't, but uggs and hoodies aren't much better. n e who, he is cool so i respect.

i was dying for a lettuce wedge salad, which is why we went. i got one. and a pulled pork sandwich. the lettuce wedge was great, i mean you can't go wrong with a fucking WEDGE OF LETTUCE and dressing on it. they put some bacon and cherry tomatoes which wasn't necessary but i ate it all anyway. it was so refreshing and delicious.


the pulled pork i got because the only other entree option was some turkey/stuffing/cranberry sauce gross me out sandwich. i mean, i'm sure it's great, but no thanks. this was one of the only pulled pork sandwiches i've had that didn't taste "off." i don't know what it is about P.P.S.'s (that's like rachel ray saying E.V.O.O. except it's P.P.S) but they always taste off. maybe because it's just boiled pork. boiled meat. boiled flesh. you see where i'm going with this. but i like it. i would totally go again. it's served on a hamburger bun which makes it a little less intimidating.


got warm chocolate chip cookies. we kept wondering what was taking so long but when they came out super hot and chewy we realized they just cooked them! amazing! (no pic). i still think nestle tollhouse cookies are the best around.

just got home and took a reglan for my acid reflux. oofah.

all in all i have always liked this place, the food is great and the place is great and the drinks are great. the only not-great part is the people who have to wait outside on the busy nights. oh. and bring your ID. ?.

speaking of ID's. i lost mine again. that's 3 in about 5 months. had to talk my way in, which was flattering since i'm over 30. but since fucks kept getting away with charging shit at children's world and the dollar store, i wrote a note on my card. clearly no one takes notice...

omg

crazy. i can't believe you guys still read this, albeit the same people.

lunch has sucked. too boring to talk about. life hasn't changed much either. total state of arrest. been smoking a lot of pot, which is making me dumb.

i have a calendar marking the days til summer.

puff daddy is on CSI Miami right now.

I want to pierce something. any ideas? maybe a tattoo. or die my hair. i'm feeling really destructive.

i'll try to find some pictures cause words get boring. tomorrow.

tata

anyone out\
there?